Colin Farrell Asks If Three Golden Globes Are Redeemable For One Oscar

EMERGING TRIUMPHANT from the Golden Globes for an incredible third time, Colin Farrell, universally lauded for his transformation as Batman villain the Penguin opted not to celebrate his win, instead getting straight onto the Oscars actor hotline.

“Do I send them in the post and then you send out one of your ones, or how does it work?” Farrell asked over the phone, the audience’s applause still audible as he walked offstage at the glitzy ceremony last night.

It is unclear where Farrell heard the rumour that a certain number of Globe trophies can be exchanged for an Oscar statue, but voicemail recordings obtained by Waterford Whispers News confirm the celebrated performer is keen to see the exchange happen.

“There’s no way Meryl hasn’t exchanged a few of her 9 Globes for one Oscar, don’t be messing me around lads. Playing psycho Henry Drax in The North Water wasn’t exactly a stretch for me, just saying,” one voicemail began, left several seconds after Farrell finished recording his previous message.

“Enough time has passed, it’s okay to finally admit you made a mistake. Sean Penn in ‘Milk’? Over me in ‘In Bruges’, give over,” continued Farrell, the sound of his three Golden Globes chiming off one another as he tried to shove them into a post box.

Farrell’s angling for the gong handed out by the Academy of Motions Arts and Sciences has led to other actors calling for an established exchange rate value between different awards.

“Everyone wants an Oscar, but is it the equivalent to three Golden Globes? And if it is then I’m guessing 25 IFTAs is equal to one MTV Movie Awards for Best Kiss?” one industry insider offered.

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