McEntee Reassures Public Dublin City Safe Between The Times Of 10.23am-10.27am Every Second Tuesday

FOLLOWING a fresh assault in the capital city, this time on two off duty gardaí Minister for Justice Helen McEntee has confirmed the city is definitely safe during a narrow but precise window of time.

“As I have previously stated on the 239 other occasions I have been forced to put out similarly phrased words of comfort in the wake of violence in the city; this is an isolated incident and Dublin is safe… during 10.23am and 10.27am every second Tuesday-ish,” explained the Minister.

With no empirical research and reason to back up why this particular 4-minute window is a blissfully peaceful time on the streets has emerged, the public have been urged not to complain but rather except this as the good news it is.

“I looked it up, it’s not when methadone is doled out, it’s not when Conor McGregor is training in the gym or the Monk is off on a jolly in an early house, we can’t pin down the reason but let’s not question it Dubliners just enjoy it,” confirmed one Dept of Justice spokesperson.

The news has seen an increase in city dwellers maximising the time, getting all errands and highly dangerous activities such as ‘existing’ out of the way in the golden 4-minutes.

“Nah, you’re alright,” responded the Minister when asked if she planned another walk through the city centre flanked by gardaí and the media.