Getting Tough: Latest US Shipment Of Missiles To Israel Come With ‘Please Don’t Murder Children With These’ Stickers

IN THE CLEAREST indication yet that the White House is ripping up its old diplomatic niceties with Israel and finally taking a hardline stance against the systematic murder of thousands of children, US weapons manufacturers have been issued stern instructions by the White House.

Now the US supplied weapons the IDF is using to murder women and children will now have a 2cm tall sticker slapped on them with very clear instructions that the missiles should be used only for peace; ‘please don’t murder children with these’.

“The last thing we want these missiles designed to obliterate every single organ in the human body upon impact to be used on is human children, may the world be in no doubt as to this new approach we are taking with Israel,” confirmed president Joe Biden, waving goodbye to a fresh delivery of arms to Benjamin Netanyahu.

With no other possible way to indicate you oppose the slaughter of thousands of innocent people, the US has been commended for the artful diplomacy it has pursued which will leave millions of critics of Benjamin Netanyahu’s government relieved.

“This is the sort of action we’ve been calling for, no doubt this is Kamala Harris’ influence, this is of great comfort to the world, what visionary leadership. Finally a voice for the innocent civilians,” said one person, quietly celebrating this momentous move to stand against the war crimes being committed by the IDF on a daily basis.

UPDATE: Additional small print has been found on the stickers which reads ‘*no worries if that is like not possible, totally appreciate these things happen, can be hard to tell if a hospital or school or family home or refugee camp would like, have innocent children in it, actually now that we think about it we’re sorry for even asking. Like, where do we get off, of course, use the weapons the way you want, we’re not like your boss or anything’.