Renewed Calls For Israel To Cop The Fuck On

UNSATISFIED with the 20,000 innocent children its military has murdered in Gaza since October 7th last year, Israel has now focussed its attention to neighbouring Lebanon in the hopes of escalating the war further, so allies with financial interests in the Middle East have to get involved.

Punching above its weight in a ring full of opponents, the Jewish state was urged by the rest of the world to ‘cop the fuck on to itself’ before it finally gets the conflict it deserves.

“You’re on your own with this one,” voiced several naive nations looking on, unaware such a conflict would drag much of the Western world into war whether they liked it or not.

“Oh no, please stop. That’s bad, so it is. Aw well, we did try our best.” pleaded the US and its subsidiary, the EU, while totting up the trillions to be made from weapons and plotting what building contractors to draft in to clean up the mess they’re about to make.

Already killing 500 Lebanese people so far this week including 35 children and 58 women, and it’s not even Wednesday, Israel vowed to eradicate the threat, which lately seems to be anyone of Arab persuasion living along the perimeter of its ever-expanding borders.

“You do realise you’re a very small school of fish in a huge ocean of sharks,” a grimacing world again reminded, showing Israel itself on the map and comparing its size to its neighbours, “all we’re saying is don’t come crying to us looking for the red sea to be parted when the time comes”.