Poll Results: Here’s The Conspiracy Theories Irish Voters Believe

FOLLOWING the headline-generating results of a poll on the Irish public’s receptiveness to conspiracy theories, WWN is now able to exclusively reveal the exact theories people wholeheartedly believe.

Despite the poll including open-ended statements such as ‘The government keeps many important secrets from the public’ lumping a person, who can recall the State’s involvement in effectively imprisoning women in Mother & Baby Homes and Magdalene Laundries, into the same category with someone who thinks George Soros has sent a UN pedophile army to overtake Ireland, there’s no doubting our appetite for conspiracies.

Here’s the most popular of them:

The guy who designed the new bottle caps that stay attached to bottles doesn’t care about the environment and just designed them that way because he has major attachment and trust issues after his wife separated from him.

Thierry Henry’s hand enlargement surgery, performed a week before the infamous match against Ireland, was paid for by Sepp Blatter.

A good portion of public representatives are underperforming and have made promises they subsequently backtracked on once they were elected.

There’s secret 33rd county with a sun-soaked climate being kept secret from all of us except a small circle of the rich and powerful people in Ireland.

Some Irish judges get a bonus every time they let a sex offender off with a suspended sentence.

Not only did Ireland purposefully send bad acts to the Eurovision because they couldn’t afford to host it again, the actor for Dustin the Turkey is a trained opera singer but was forced to submit ‘Irelande Douze Points’.

That if you utter the secret code ‘I have kidnapped your family’ to a Temple Bar barman he will sell you a pint of Guinness for a fiver.

The earth orbits around Cork.

The earth is a flat cap.

Hurling only exists as a sport so we can feel better about ourselves when online sites publish ‘check out the reactions of these English people watching hurling for the first time’ content.

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