Lawyer Representing Croke Park Seagull Says Client Had Valid Ticket, Will Sue For Being Ejected

“MY CLIENT paid the farcical sum of €100 euro to enjoy the game, a good solid GAA seagull all his life, and what’s the treatment he gets? Aggressively removed for the stadium to jeers from the crowd. He has consumer rights” – the words of solicitor Benjamin Canning representing the Croke Park seagull who was the subject of a number of jocular online videos and images during the final between Armagh and Galway.

Galway may be nursing some heartache but one individual who is arguably more disappointed and aggrieved is the seagull who was very publicly embarrassed and mistreated by Croke Park ground staff in front of 82,000 people.

“There’s the financial loss but also the emotional trauma suffered which surely any decent-minded individual would admit deserves some recompense” continued the solicitor.

“Fucking pricks turfed me out, I should have been paid to watch that boring muck in the first half,” said Cyril the seagull, echoing his solicitor’s words.

The treatment of Cyril sits in stark contrast to the recent speeches from GAA president Jarlath Burns, preaching inclusivity and acceptance. However, the GAA have robustly defended their actions on the day.

“What Cyril’s legal representative has conveniently left out is that his client was pestering other patrons for chips, squawking so loudly it made watching the game impossible and perhaps the most egregious behaviour of all; taking constant selfies and filiming TikToks for his followers instead of actually taking in the game,” a GAA statement read.

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