US President Joe Biden has flown to Israel to tell them to keep it down over there and stop bombarding Palestine or so help him, he’ll do something they really won’t like and he means it this time!
Biden wearily admitted to his closest friends that Israel ‘has his heart broken’, and that his best efforts to keep them from getting into fights with the Palestinian people, as violence in the region soared over the past week.
“We supply billions of dollars worth of arms every year to countries all over the world, and they never give us the problems you guys do,” Biden lectured, as Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu gazed off into the distance with a bored look on his face.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you! I swear to God, when we get the call in the middle of the night to say one of our allies is blowing their neighbour’s off the face of the planet, we know straight away it’s not Canada they’re talking about. Well listen up mister, you see that fancy Iron Dome missile defence system? If we see one more dead Palestinian family on the news, we’re taking that away. I’m deadly serious, don’t you look at me like that, you little rip!”
Israel were heard laughing about the incident later in the day, making sure Biden was in earshot as they mockingly talked about how he’s not the president of them.