Fresh Hope Irish Politics Changing For Better With FF/FG Supporting TD Who Thinks 3-Year-Old Immigrants Are In ISIS For Ceann Comhairle

THOSE HOPING the recent election results has paved a path towards a higher standard of politics and public service in Ireland are said to be overjoyed at the news Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael have given into independent TDs’ demands and will rubber stamp Verona Murphy for Ceann Comhairle.

“Only a fool would say this isn’t a step up from the last person, we’ve gone from someone who wrote a character reference for a rapist to the ‘are babies ISIS fighters?’ lady. The progress is clear,” confirmed one optimistic member of the public.

Murphy, known to some for believing 3-year-old refugees would need de-programming because they’re probably in ISIS, and having the Workplace Relations Committee finding she had penalised an office worker in her 60s who had raised allegations of bullying against her during her time as head of the Irish Road Haulage Association, is set to net the €255k position due to her sterling CV which now reads ‘make me Ceann Comhairle if you want independents’ support’.

“All that may be true but let’s focus instead on the fact she will be the first ever female Ceann Comhairle,” countered Verona Murphy.

For their part Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael defended their actions.

“If this sort of move is anything to go by, I have a feeling the next five years could be Irish politics finest every period,” confirmed Micheál Martin, drooling as he stared at the Taoiseach’s office.

“She wasn’t good enough for Fine Gael when she left and we found her conduct unbecoming but I’d rather nail my sack to a high speed Japanese train than develop some principles and a moral compass, power at any cost baby,” confirmed Taoiseach-for-now Simon Harris.