THE coalition government are today going about their daily Dáil business in blissful ignorance, having ignored reports from political seismologists that Sinn Féin TD Pearse Doherty may be ‘just days away’ from blowing his top. The Donegal man had been showing increased signs of volatility during the last number of years due to increasingly angry… Read more »
SINN FÉIN insiders have confirmed the party are struggling to adjust to how mean everyone is now that they’re the main opposition party in the Dáil, WWN can reveal. The party had previously enjoyed ‘mad second cousin at a wedding’ privileges within the Irish political eco-system when just a minor fringe opposition party but now… Read more »
IT CAN be hard to know how to correctly follow very clear guidelines on things such as attending funerals during the continuing presence and risk of Covid-19 on the island of Ireland. Thankfully, Sinn Féin is here to help you artfully navigate through the dos and don’ts of funeral attendance and the proper etiquette which… Read more »
NEARLY 1,000 people attending a Sinn Féin rally in Cork yesterday were said to be ‘left not wanting for anything’ after miraculously being fed with just a handful of bread, fish and fresh promises, handed down by leader Mary Lou McDonald. Making her way down the river Lee on foot, hundreds gathered to witness the… Read more »
WITH all the elegance and grace of a paraplegic sloth on quaaludes, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar awoke from his post election slumber to tear down the door of the electorate’s consciousness in the hopes of forming some kind of government that no one particularly wants. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the… Read more »
STILL absorbing the astonishing results of the latest Irish Times poll, placing them as the country’s most popular party for the first time ever, Sinn Féin are today putting on a brave face while screaming internally in panic at the thought of having to actually follow through on their many election promises. Running only 42… Read more »
VISIBLY sweating and relentlessly pulling on their shirt collars in an apparent attempt to breath more freely, Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil leaders Leo Varadkar and Micheál Martin have appealed to Sinn Féin to bring back Gerry Adams as leader after catching sight of their rival’s upward trajectory in the polls. Fondly recalling the days… Read more »
A NEW study carried out by people who are definitely not affiliated with Irish republicanism in any way has found that Northern Ireland would be ‘one million times better off’ if it was part of a United Ireland. Despite not being able to take care of its own population, the very carefully carried out study found… Read more »
KEEN to avoid any accusations that they’re wasting public resources, the remaining shards of the Northern Assembly have put a number of rooms in Stormont up on accommodation-sharing website Airbnb, in a bid to ‘make a few quid’. With the vast majority of the rooms in the east Belfast castle lying idle since the collapse… Read more »
NOW that politicians up the north have resolved ‘Kingsmillgate’ in a mature, reasonable fashion which appeased both sides of the community, it’s time for elected representatives to learn as much as they can from the tweet sent out by Sinn Fein MP Barry McElduff, specifically how they can get incendiary digs in at their opponents… Read more »