COUNTRIES have abandoned all information campaigns relating to large scale gatherings over the Christmas period, replacing them with a screaming Tom Cruise after he was heard explosively self-destructing in a rant aimed at film crew flouting safety measures. Administering the bollocking with an intensity normally reserved for Scientology recruitment videos, Cruise caught the attention of… Read more »
GADGET fans who were aghast at the cost of Apple’s new AirPod Max headphones can breathe a sigh of relief today, as rip-off copies of the sleek new cans have already started popping up on Wish.com for a tenner, plus postage. That suggests a €539 saving on Apple’s price for the over-the-ear headphones, and also… Read more »
ONGOING protests surrounding the result of the US presidential election resulted in a surprisingly small number of injuries yesterday, after clashes between Antifa and the Proud Boys turned out to be downright civilised compared to what had been expected. The Proud Boys, an anti anti-fascist organisation who are somehow not fascists, clashed with pro-Biden supporters… Read more »
WITH the rollout of Covid jabs beginning around the world, concerns about the side effects from talking out of your arse about Covid-19 have never been more vocal and prominent. Are you concerned about a loved one and keen to know what the side effects are? WWN has the list you need. Among the most… Read more »
THE GOVERNMENT has finally relented and will begin implementing a permanent medicinal cannabis delivery system which saves ‘lazy stoners’ the effort of having to travel abroad each and every time they need to obtain a prescription which can bring an end to debilitating seizures or ease agonising pain. “You’d swear we were asking them to… Read more »
IN YET another example showcasing how the trying year that is 2020 has brought the generous spirit out in so many people, one Waterford chef is to make the Limerick hurling panel a meal free of charge ahead of their All-Ireland final appearance on Sunday. “It’s just a nice selfless gesture I suppose, I thought… Read more »
A CRISIS is emerging in Dublin following the soul destroying news that the derelict Iveagh Markets site in The Liberties will not be turned into a hotel, and instead could be restored to its original form after being repossessed by Lord Iveagh. Decried as a ‘cancer eating away at Dublin’s soul’, many worried developers have… Read more »
“I SEE a man with a beard, and glasses, surrounded by people in balaclavas” said Leo Varadkar today, after being presented with a Rorschach ‘ink blot’ image with the instruction to just ‘say what you see’. “Is that correct?” “Mr. Varadkar, there are no ‘right and wrong’ answers with these tests, it’s just to get… Read more »
SNATCHING monumental disaster from the jaws of catastrophic failure, British PM Boris Johnson is hailing the remarkable progress in Brexit trade negotiations which has seen his team’s triumphs extend to ‘a few fish’ in the column marked ‘Massive Benefits of Amazing Brexit’. “We did it” a beaming Johnson said, as a solitary fish flapped in… Read more »
TAKING advantage of teams now being given special permission to have their full panel in attendance at Croke Park, Cavan have hit upon a scheme which could see them even up the odds between them and overwhelming favourites Dublin, who are in search of 6-in-a-row. “Shut up and say nothing,” argued Cavan manager and former… Read more »