Tag: putin

Navalny Arrested For Refusing To Die

AS THE plane transporting Alexei Navalny back to Russia touched down in Moscow, authorities, absolutely not at the direction of Vladimir Putin, arrested the Putin critic, charging him with one count of ‘failure to die from poisoning as instructed’. Charged with a number of other crimes ranging from being ‘critically well’ and ‘still breathing’ Navalny’s… Read more »

Trump Expected To Endorse Novichok As Covid Cure By End Of Day At The Latest

FOLLOWING condemnation from international leaders over Russia’s apparent poisoning of Putin critic Alexei Navalny with novichok, political experts fully expect US president Donald Trump to endorse the nerve agent as a Covid-19 cure for US citizens by the end of the day. “Chancellor Merkel said ‘this is a despicable and cowardly act – once again…. Read more »

“It Really Works!” We Speak To Russia’s Covid-19 Vaccine Volunteers

CALLING a press conference to confirm Russia has ‘successfully developed’ a rushed through Covid-19 vaccine for which he has provided no proof of its supposed effectiveness, leader-for-life Vladimir Putin presented a series of successful vaccine volunteers to Russian state media. Delivering remarkable first-person testimonies of the miracle vaccine while lying in stiff horizontal positions, the… Read more »

5 Things We Love About Vladimir Putin

WWN would like to take this opportunity to say Mr. Putin is a fine, honest politician, who we admire and respect almost as much as we enjoy breathing in that cool, fresh Waterford air. Here’s the 5 things we love about him the best: 1) That Putin sure is handsome While everyone else in the… Read more »

Trump & Putin Recouple On Love Island

A STUNNING twist in popular dating reality TV show Love Island has seen two contestants choosing to recouple with one another, shocking millions of viewers who watched on in the grips of a befuddling horror as the process took place live on TV. The recoupling process sees contestants choose who they most see a lasting… Read more »

Putin Critic Found Dismembered In Apparent Suicide

A RUSSIAN journalist and vocal critic of Vladimir Putin has reportedly committed suicide by dismembering his own body, Russia Today has confirmed. The 122nd opponent and/or critic of Putin to die in perfectly non-suspicious circumstances in recent years, Andrei Ivanov, was found in several pieces in his Moscow apartment after taking a knife to himself, and ending… Read more »

“If It Was Us, He’d Be Dead”

RUSSIAN President Vladimir Putin has broken his silence today following a nerve agent attack on former Russian spy and double agent Sergei Skripal and his daughter, Yulia, pointing to the fact that Russia would not have messed up the assassination attempt. “I find it insulting that the international community would even suggest that we would have failed to… Read more »