Tag: northernireland

Northern Ireland Update: Everyone Mad At Everything

NORTHERN Ireland has finally welcomed back the NI Executive following a three year hiatus, with politicians and citizens on both sides of the political divide agreeing to smother their true feelings with a blanket knitted from pure solid anger, WWN can confirm. Both Sinn Féin’s Michelle O’Neill and the DUP’s Arlene Foster, the new executive’s… Read more »

Revealed: The DUP’s New Year’s Resolutions

IT’S all change in the world of Northern Irish politics, as the DUP have announced that they are willing to get back into talks to restore the NI Executive, having recovered form last year’s horrific under-bus mangling that they suffered during Brexit negotiations. Having seemingly turned over a new leaf, the DUP released a comprehensive… Read more »

British Soldier Has No Idea He’ll Soon Be Screaming At Elderly Belfast Woman To ‘Get Out Of The Fucking Car’

A BRITISH SOLDIER from Swindon is reportedly completely unaware he will be pointing a gun at an elderly woman in Belfast in the near future, demanding she vacate her vehicle in the moments preceding a tragic incident that will forever remain in the minds of people in Northern Ireland, but not anyone from England, and which… Read more »

Johnson Announces £2.1bn Irish Reunification Funding

CASUALLY referred to by his government as a ‘£2.1 billion No Deal and hard border funding package’, the measures contained in Boris Johnson’s plans for Irish Reunification have been met with universal praise by those who advocate for a United Ireland. While the British media was busy confirming that communist Taoiseach Leo Varadkar was in… Read more »

DUP Awarded For Services To A United Ireland

THE DEMOCRATIC Unionist Party has been recognised for its singular and lasting contribution to securing a United Ireland at an emotional ceremony in Derry earlier today, WWN can reveal. On a stage filled with prominent Republican dignitaries such as lads in Celtic jerseys, DUP leader Arlene Foster accepted the award on behalf of her party… Read more »