Tag: news

You Are Drunk

WWN can reveal after carrying out an extensive survey of the Irish public, chances are you are probably quite drunk right now at this very moment. It is thought that the vast majority of Irish men are currently urinating in public while Irish women look on in envious horror. A total of 15% of the… Read more »

Even Alan Shatter Is Surprised He’s Still Justice Minister

WWN can exclusively reveal that Minister for Justice Alan Shatter is at a loss to explain how exactly it is he has managed to remain in his current role. Following the publication of the Garda Inspectorate’s report on the penalty points scandal the vast majority of the Irish public presumed the Minister, along with Garda… Read more »

Mount’joy’ Prison Considering Name Change

Dublin prison will seek to find new name following inmates consistent disappointment upon first arriving. Mountjoy Prison, located in Dublin City is reportedly giving serious thought to changing its name as inmates have said the name is misleading and gives ‘false hope’. “I thought it was going to be loads nicer on the inside,” shared… Read more »

Stupid Fucking Idiots Easily Offended

THE MOST moronic among us are susceptible to taking offence to almost anything, it has emerged. A study conducted by the Institute of Studies has concluded that even the slightest mention of some opinion or thought contrary to one that a brainless idiot holds results in that fucking idiot taking offence. “It’s really quite simple,”… Read more »

Irish Lad With Cheltenham Tip Talking Out Of His Arse

Citing important things such as ‘form’, ‘trainer’, ‘jockey’ and ‘good-to-soft’ Irish lad Danny Scanlan is convinced he has just the tip for the Champion Hurdle at 3.20pm tomorrow. While Danny, a Wexford native, didn’t like to reveal the exact identity of his source for the tip so close to the festival beginning tomorrow. However, he… Read more »