Category: WORLD NEWS

Jihadi John Buried At Sea

THE US defence forces have confirmed that the body of Islamic extremist Jihadi John was buried at sea following a drone strike earlier this morning. The militant, whose real name is allegedly Mohammed Emwazi, was killed following a lengthy manhunt by the US military, which they claim took up most of their military resources over… Read more »

Gay Priest Can Fuck Right Off, Confirms Pope Francis

A GAY Roman Catholic priest who was fired from his position within the Vatican after he revealed he was in a homosexual relationship has been told by Pope Francis to “fuck right off”. While Pope Francis is the most forward thinking and progressive Pope in Pope history, Polish born priest Krzysztof Charamsa accused the Vatican… Read more »

Cameron Seals 10 Year Spice Bag Deal With China

BRITISH prime minister David Cameron has emerged from 18 hours of talks with visiting Chinese premier Xi Jinping, having clinched a deal that will see the UK become the sole importer of Spice Bags for the next 10 years. The deal will remove Spice Bags from the menus of Chinese takeaways across the globe, and… Read more »

Perfectly Sane Man In Charge Of Country’s Nuclear Arms

THE world has been offered a timely reminder that its fate lies in the hands of perfectly sane people, who just so happen to also possess nuclear warheads. Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netenyahu made the headlines after politely explaining to the world that Hitler was not the chief architect of an attempted extermination of Jewish… Read more »

Barack Obama Crashed This Couple’s Wedding

AFTER news and pop culture sites reported that US president Barack Obama crashed the wedding of a couple in San Diego to pose for photos, and talk with the happy couple, WWN can reveal that this isn’t the first time the Democrat has carried out the kind gesture. Today’s news provided a timely boost for… Read more »

Benjamin Netanyahu To Launch Bomb Palestine Season

THE ANNUAL Bomb Palestine season is due to get underway as Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu prepares to launch the country’s first missile attack on neighbouring Palestine in over a year. The recurring tit-for-tat series comes just hours after a terrorist attack in Jerusalem this morning, which has left three people dead so far and another 30 injured in the capital after two… Read more »