TAOISEACH Enda Kenny today insisted that the Government will stop at nothing to do nothing for Waterford. The oldest city in Ireland came under increasing focus as the Government prepares to implement an emergency plan to do absolutely nothing about the Deise’s high unemployment rate and its proposed downgrading to a level 3 ghost town. Mr Kenny told… Read more »
THE MINISTER for the Environment Phil Hogan announced today that Waterford ‘town’ council is to be out-sourced to India in a radical new overhaul by the state. The cost-cutting plan will see a full transfer of all administrations to a small team of customer service operators based in the city of Mumbai, India. As a result of the cut,… Read more »
UP TO 500,000 angry Irish citizens took to the streets of Dublin today in protest of a possible bacon shortage about to sweep the country in the coming weeks. Violent clashes between Gardai and protesters escalated onto the capitals main streets in what has been called ‘the straw that broke the camels back’ by the countries… Read more »
ENERGY provider Electric Ireland (formally ESB) announced today that a new 6% increase in electricity prices was ‘unavoidable’ due to a poor yield in ‘electricity polecrops’ this Summer. The energy firm reported a drastic drop in the number of electricity poles harvested this year and expects a similar price increase in January 2013. CEO of the company Pat O’Doherty… Read more »
THEY say you can’t keep a good entrepreneur down, and they may be right, as inmate Sean Quinn Jnr applied for a patent on the worlds first non-slip soap today from his cell in Mountjoy prison. The son of bankrupt businessman Sean Quinn made the application at 9am this morning following, what his lawyer claims were, ‘numerous… Read more »
SHELL CEO Peter Voser admitted today that the shell-to-sea protesters have really got the multinational oil and gas company by the balls after a truck carrying drilling equipment for the Corrib project got stuck on a road yesterday. The worlds largest oil company was said to be on the verge of collapse following the incident, according to demonstrators at the scene. Mr. Voser… Read more »
A LOCAL Waterford band have ‘upped the ante’ this week when it was confirmed by fans that they are ‘really good now’ after several black and white photographs were taken of the group by some guy with a camera. The four piece, who simply call themselves ‘Band’, posted the high resolution pictures on their Facebook and webpage… Read more »
THE shaking hand of Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland, Martin McGuinness, was put under security lock down this morning ahead of the queens visit to Northern Ireland. The Sin Féin politician was approached late last night by her majesties secret service and asked to accompany them to an undisclosed location in Belfast city. A… Read more »
ONE of the countries most popular astronomy clubs announced today that it was sick and tired of failing to see past low lying clouds and bad weather after yet another astronomical event was cancelled earlier. The transit of Venus was postponed by the group this morning to the year 2117 due to poor visibility. Chairman… Read more »
