Category: LOCAL NEWS

Corrib Gardaí Make Empty Pint Glass Hand Motion At Shell

GARDAÍ policing the disputed Mayo coastline where the proposed Corrib pipeline is supposed to come on shore have been overheard complaining loudly that they’re “so thirsty”, usually within earshot of Shell officials working on the project. The area has become the grounds for bitter protest between the Shell corporation, who wish to bring ashore natural… Read more »

Sock Found On Beach

HUNDREDS of residents from the small seaside village of Clonee, Co. Waterford, have flocked to the beach today after a mysterious sock was found washed up on its shores. Metal detector enthusiast Thomas Cummins came across the sock this morning at around 8am while out combing the beach. He immediately alerted the local historical society about… Read more »

CAO Points For The Dole Reach Record High

SOME students were left disappointed this morning as the CAO points for college courses went live at 6am. However, there was no more significant a shock than the one that greeted students hoping for a place on the Dole as points for the Dole rose to their highest level in Leaving Cert history. Dole places… Read more »

Republicans Aim To Move Forward By Living In The Past

A GROUP of Republicans who turned a march marking the anniversary of the initiating of internment without trial in Northern Ireland into an impromptu petrol bomb throwing competition have confirmed that they intend to move forward by living in the past. As PSNI officers blocked the parade’s passage into Belfast city centre, several members of… Read more »

17 In 10 Foreigners Coming Over Here, Stealing Our Jobs

RECENT observations by a number of disgruntled Irish citizens have confirmed many people’s worst fears; an astonishing 17 out of 10 foreigners are coming over here, stealing our jobs. “Maths isn’t my strong point, but facts are facts,” urged Tramore local David Deasy, as he spread the damning claims on social media earlier this morning…. Read more »