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“We Just Couldn’t Be Arsed Anymore” Admits Government
THE Irish Government admitted at a press conference in Dublin today that it ‘just couldn’t be arsed’ trying to negotiate EU bail ... -
Mick Wallace To Use leader’s Allowance To Research lodging Money Into Mick Wallace Bank Account
INDEPENDENT TD Mick Wallace has defended his acceptance of the ‘Leader’s Allowance’ given to Independent TDs in the Dáil, saying ... -
Mountjoy: Sean Quinn Junior To Patent Worlds First Non-Slip Soap
THEY say you can’t keep a good entrepreneur down, and they may be right, as inmate Sean Quinn Jnr applied for a ... -
“Those Crusty Irish Bastards Really Got Us By The Balls Now!” Admits Shell CEO
SHELL CEO Peter Voser admitted today that the shell-to-sea protesters have really got the multinational oil and gas company by the balls after a truck carrying drilling ... -
Martin McGuinness’ Shaking Hand Under Security Lockdown Ahead Of Queen Visit
THE shaking hand of Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland, Martin McGuinness, was put under security lock down this morning ... -
JobBridge Scheme Extended By 30,000 Places As Government Opens Cotton Picking Plantation In Leitrim
THE GOVERNMENT have announced an extra 30,000 work experience places for people on the dole who wish to avail of ... -
‘Why Are You People Always Whinging?’, Asks Government
THE Government have asked the country today why it is they are always ‘whinging’ and ‘moaning’ about stuff. At a ... -
Vatican Strikes D’Arcy Family Name From Church Register
THE VATICAN have announced today that anyone with the family name ‘D’Arcy’ will be stricken from all Catholic church records ... -
‘My Work Here Is Done’ Says Fornication TD Before Dramatically Ascending Back Into Heaven
FINE GAEL TD Michelle Mulherin dramatically ascended back into heaven this morning in front of hundreds of spectators claiming that her ‘work here ... -
Government: New Water Meters To Include ‘Draw Something’ App For First Million Customers
THE GOVERNMENT announced today that all new water meters will include a ‘draw something’ app for the first one million ...
