VICTORIOUS European elections candidate Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan was busy planning his future as he is set to take his place in the European parliament as a representative of the people of the Midlands North West. While there were understandably joyous scenes when Ming was first elected as an MEP, his focus almost immediately turned to… Read more »
SEVERAL Labour Party TDs have been rushed to hospital this morning after reportedly experiencing painful pregnancy-like symptoms. This news follows a tough weekend for the Labour Party as it saw a total collapse in supporting both local and European elections.Party spokesperson Liam O’ Mahony told WWN that leader Eamon Gilmore had begun feeling persistent lower… Read more »
RECENTLY elected politicians have been winding down their relationship with the outside world today after a successful local election campaign over the weekend. Nine hundred and forty nine representatives will say goodbye to their voters for another five years, with many hoping to do as little as humanly possible on their €28,750 a year part-time… Read more »
FORMER minister for Justice Alan Shatter suggested to members of the Jack and Jill foundation that a name change could be warranted after he donated his severance package to the charity yesterday afternoon. Mr. Shatter, who generously donated 70,000 euros, hoped the board would consider including his own name, Alan, into the title, as a… Read more »
EUROPEAN Election candidate Lorraine Higgins, who found herself in hot water online yesterday when a photo of her canvassing van parked in a disabled parking space went viral, has today stood by her driver claiming that being a Labour candidate counts as a disability. The photo, taken by a passer-by outside a Centra, had raised… Read more »
MINISTER for transport Leo Varadkar said he will promise to meet up with ousted Justice Minister Alan Shatter for a pint sometime, “when all this politics stuff was over”. Mr. Varadkar made the pact shortly after lunch time yesterday, when the two men met up for the last time in Leinster house. “Sure, you won’t… Read more »
SINN Fein president Gerry Adams has made a formal complaint to the Police Service of Northern Ireland (PSNI) over their “weak interrogation techniques” over the weekend, stating: “They don’t make interrogators like they used to.” Mr Adams was released without charge on Sunday night after four days of questioning by detectives about the 1972 murder of… Read more »
THE MINISTER for Finance Michael Noonan said today that he keeps finding himself pricing units of water in his head all the time. The Limerick born TD told WWN that everywhere he goes there is some form of water there, beckoning him to price its unit measure. “Just the other day I was in the… Read more »
LABOUR party members have called for the leader of their own party, Eamon Gilmore, to resign today, because his stupid face is just becoming increasingly unbearable to look at. MEP Phil Prendergast, who is behind the move, told WWN that she cannot bare to look at Mr. Gilmore’s ‘pudgy head’ any longer, and urged fellow… Read more »
A STAGGERING one hundred and sixty three people across the country have already been killed and another 376 injured in election poster related accidents, it has been revealed today. Pedestrians as young as 3 years of age have been admitted to hospital with severe injuries from falling cardboard pictures of politicians. The number of dead… Read more »