MEMBERS of the public were shocked to learn of the sad circumstances, many children have found themselves in as they become homeless. However, the Government has thanked charities for doing their bit as well as the Government’s bit to solve the crisis. “Where would we be without charity, huh?” the Taoiseach mused openly in the… Read more »
AFTER a day of backtracking on water charges and bonuses by the Coalition government, the Irish public swiftly responded by simply asking both parties to “just skip to the part where they abolish water charges.” It is understood the Government will announce two new maximum rates of water charges tomorrow in a bid to quell… Read more »
A WATER protester in Jobstown defended his decision to throw a large brick at a Garda vehicle during a ‘peaceful demonstration’ on Saturday, stating that he ‘no like water thing’ and that’s why he did it. “Me was not happy cause everyone shouting on street,” he said with his mouth, all by himself. “Boo boo… Read more »
Shortly after 1pm yesterday as the heated debate between TD McDonald and Ceann Comhairle Sean Barrett reached its climax, McDonald hoisted herself over the Dáil benches and screamed “All right everybody be cool, this is a robbery. Any one of you fucking pricks move, and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of you!” A standoff… Read more »
TODAY the office of An Taoiseach has confirmed that Enda Kenny has taken several steps to bring an end to the heckling and badgering aimed towards him from the public. Such incidents have been on the increase in recent weeks as the discontent at water charges continue to grow. However, the Taoiseach has taken the… Read more »
THE Irish people have reacted angrily at the political class and their insistence that they be allowed to ruin absolutely everything, including the centenary of the 1916 Easter Rising. While many members of the public foolishly thought all major political parties could reach a consensus on some level regarding the commemorations, their naive hope has… Read more »
DEPARTMENT of Justice figures released today reveal that Garda numbers have dropped in the majority of Dublin city stations, serving as a fatal blow to breakfast roll sellers nationwide. “The arse fell out of the market a few years ago and this just confirms it,” explained city centre Centra shop owner Gerrard Gormley. Despite the… Read more »
THE Government has confirmed today that Ireland’s yet-to-be-built national children’s hospital will have the very latest in lack of funding technology. This news follows on from a request made by Minister for health Leo Varadkar to Brendan Howlin asking to confirm whether or not there would be funding allocated to purchase equipment to go inside… Read more »
RUSHING through emergency legislation after a late night Dáil sitting the Government secured the votes it needed to ban all mention of Irish Water on today the 7th of November. “We just needed a fucking break from it to be honest,” explained minister Alan Kelly at 11:58pm last night, “listen get your questions out of… Read more »
THE Irish public have been quick to remind each other, nothing will change following the release of the controversial Jean Claude-Trichet ECB letter to former minister for finance Brian Lenihan. Passages of the letter have been interpreted by almost everyone in the media to infer a veiled and villainous threat issued by part time Bond… Read more »