“Your Dog Is Shit And Out-Dated” Thinks Husky Owner

A SAKHALIN Husky owner admitted thinking today that your dog is absolutely shit and out-dated compared to his dog. Jamie Taylor was out walking his 40 kilo pet when he came to the conclusion, stating all other dog breeds are just crap in comparison to awesome Husky’s. “Look at the state of that knacker dog over there”… Read more »

Electric Ireland: Price Hikes Unavoidable As ‘Electricity Pole Crops’ Fall Victim To Wet Summer

ENERGY provider Electric Ireland (formally ESB) announced today that a new 6% increase in electricity prices was ‘unavoidable’ due to a poor yield in ‘electricity polecrops’ this Summer. The energy firm reported a drastic drop in the number of electricity poles harvested this year and expects a similar price increase in January 2013. CEO of the company Pat O’Doherty… Read more »

High Court Considering ‘On The Spot Fines’ For Sexual Assault Cases Involving Rich Businessmen

THE IRISH high court today said it is considering ‘on the spot fines’ for all sexual assault cases brought against the upper classes. After a land mark case this morning involving aviation broker Anthony Lyons, Judge Desmond Hogan said the new approach will free up an already crowded prison/court system and enable the wealthy to keep spending… Read more »

Death Of Young Woman Even More Tragic Now That She Was ‘A Fine Thing’

THE untimely death of 21-year-old Jessica Harris last Tuesday evening was said to be even ‘more tragic now’ after images released by her family reveal what an absolute ‘fine thing’ she really was. Thousands of people across the country have swamped national newspapers and internet forums with condolence letters and comments voicing their absolute disgust at the… Read more »