Category: HEALTH

Absolute Fucking Legend Needs Liver Transplant At 23

ABSOLUTE fucking legend Aaron Maher has been informed by doctors that his liver has sustained so much damage from heavy drinking, that he must receive a liver transplant or face certain death. While the news is far from welcome considering the devastating consequences to his health, Maher is enjoying the fact his legacy as an… Read more »

Dock Leaves No Longer Available Without Prescription

THERE was more bad news today for people who frequently fall down in large clumps of nettles, after it was revealed that dock leaves would only be available with a prescription from September onwards. The decision was met with fury from parents and children alike, who know that the in and out motion of a… Read more »

Scientists Confirm Nothing Is Better Than Sliced Bread

AN international collective of the world’s leading scientists have issued a reminder that no one has ever conclusively proved something to be better than sliced bread. “Listen, we don’t normally come together like this to denounce bogus claims, but you guys really have to stop lying about things being better than sliced bread,” Professor Wolfgang… Read more »

Pregnant Irish Women Absolutely Love The Session, Study Finds

A STUDY has revealed that pregnant Irish women absolutely love the session, proving longstanding suspicions right. However, their levels of binge drinking are embarrassingly lower than that of expectant Irish fathers, which is believed to at 104%. The study, which has made the pages of countless Irish media outlets with a variation on a ‘pregnant… Read more »

High In Fibre Broadband Unveiled Across The Country

THE Nation’s internet providers have unveiled the latest in astonishing technology, which will further enhance customer experience while browsing the web. Hot on the heels of Ireland’s rollout of broadband and fibre broadband which changed the lives of at least 12 people comes new ‘high in fibre’ broadband. Not only does high in fibre broadband… Read more »