Katy French Still Dead, Finds Inquest

THE Katy French inquest confirmed yesterday that the 24-year-old is still pretty much dead from cocaine use, and is not expected to recover no matter how many questions are asked about her death. Meath coroner James Lacy told the hearing in Trim courthouse, Co Meath, that test results showed Ms.French was not responding to the lengthy… Read more »

Cruise Finally Awarded Irish Heritage Cert For Outstanding Performance In Far And Away

AMERICAN ACTOR Tom Cruise has finally received an Irish heritage certificate in Dublin today to commend his ‘outstanding performance’ in the 1992 box office smash ‘Far and Away’. Tainiste Eamon Gilmore presented the Hollywood star  at Iveagh House with a framed certificate of his Irishness, and asked the 50-year-old if he would say something in the Irish accent… Read more »

Government Calls For Immediate Inquiry Into Latest Love/Hate Rumour

THE GOVERNMENT has called for an immediate inquiry into the latest Love/Hate rumour that actor, Robert Sheehan, who plays lovable rogue Darren, maybe back for another season. Dail members heard today that the character was shot at point blank range in the gripping series finale last December, but since the actor was spotted on the set of RTE’s award-winning drama yesterday, it now transpires that… Read more »

Bill Roache Appologises For Fucking Your Mom Last Night

CORONATION STREET actor Bill Roache said today he was “very sorry” for banging your mother last night in a 12 hour “fuck-fest”. The 80-year-old, who has played Ken Barlow in the ITV soap for more than 50 years, told Waterford Whispers News that he was absolutely ‘shattered’ from making your mum perform numerous sexual acts on him and apologised… Read more »

Pope Francis Finding ‘One Direction’ Stickers Everywhere

THE NEWLY appointed Pope, Francis the first, said he has been finding stickers from boy-band ‘One Direction’ everywhere in his Vatican quarters all morning. The pontiff, who moved in late last night, found small pictures of band-members littered around the living area and said he is finding it very difficult to remove them from the bathroom mirror and… Read more »