THE mystery surrounding the unauthorised flight of a US spy plane over Irish airspace earlier this week has been cleared up by the aircraft’s navigational crew, who explained that they were following directions given to them by “some lad on the side of a road”. The plane, a Boeing E6 Mercury belonging to the US… Read more »
PLANS to rebuild the shattered Gaza Strip have been put on hold by the remaining population of Palestine, who have agreed to continue living in squalor to save Israel the hassle of destroying it all again. A seven-week assault by Israel, which began in July of last year and killed over 2,000 people, leveled acres… Read more »
“JUST scored two tickets to the All-Ireland final, boom!” Those were the last words of Aidan Meehan before he exploded all over the inside of his office cubicle, according to co-workers who witnessed the grim scene. Staff at McKillan & Byrne Accountants were said to be overjoyed at the explosion of Meehan, although many admitted… Read more »
SINN FÉIN, the opposition party that represents the people and only the people, have confirmed they would go into power with absolutely anybody despite previously expressing their outrage at how the coalition Government has run the country. Speaking to the media, Sinn Féin’s leader Gerry Adams said he would not rule out joining forces with… Read more »
By now, we’ve all been moved by the valiant and the brave efforts of the European countries battling to keep refugees away from their borders, but still thousands of refugees have managed to find themselves in the enviable position of becoming millionaires – thanks to the generous benefits afforded to them by European nations. All… Read more »
AN ELDERLY gentleman crossing the road just there will walk that little bit slower just to piss you off, he would later claim as retaliation for your obvious impatience. Paddy Dunphy, (79), admitted he could have just waited until you passed as there were no other cars coming behind you, but felt you were going a little too… Read more »
EIRCOM customers have reported an overwhelmingly positive change in the customer service they have received since the telecommunications company changed their name to ‘Eir’. The rebrand rollout, which involved sourcing a new logo, a PR drive informing the media of the new name and extensive advertising has been universally praised by customers due to the… Read more »
A CHINESE tech wizard who works in a phone repair shop on Moore Street has stated that he will have fixed the broken phone he’s working on at the moment in about twenty minutes, according to eyewitnesses. Keung Liu, who answers to the name Martin, began work on the iPhone 4s after it was brought… Read more »
A NEW report by Dublin city council has confirmed that the river Liffey is now made up of only 20% actual water, with the other 80% composed of rusted old shopping trolleys. The Liffey, which rises in the Wicklow mountains before snaking through Dublin city on its way to meet the Irish sea, is said… Read more »
