DUBLIN man Sean Tynan will arrive into work at 9am on the dot for the first time in months tomorrow morning as Dublin Bus and Bus Éireann begin their 48-hour strike action at midnight. Without having to rely on the cryptic Dublin Bus app and its accompanying services, Sean is expected to leave his house… Read more »
MEMBERS of the ongoing banking inquiry panel into the catastrophic collapse of the Irish banking system have started to suspect that all parties involved are trying to shift as much of the blame as possible on the dead guy. The inquiry is focused on the events leading up to the decision to issue a blanket €440… Read more »
DENTIST Tom Maher is set to ask a series of questions once he’s got you in the dentist’s chair and his hands are lodged in your mouth, WWN can exclusively reveal. In stark contrast to the 10 minutes your dentist spent in silence staring at his fancy clipboard, he will then attack you with an… Read more »
A MONSTER five-foot long rat has been found swimming in the Irish media for the past fortnight, and it’s looking for a good home. The vermin, a Caucasian Christian bigot, was reported to be dwelling in West Tyrone, Northern Ireland. It is believed to be the worst of its kind found in recent years. Nicknamed ‘Susan’ by… Read more »
TAOISEACH Enda Kenny has today pledged to cut the bullshit handed out by Government by as much as 2% by next year. Mr Kenny pledged that in this October’s budget 4 million people would no longer be subjected to the increasing amount of bullshit that has been bellowing out of Leinster house since 2011. “Keeping with the… Read more »
DUBLIN girl Emer Reilly made the stark observation that her mother looks really fucking old earlier today, WWN can exclusively reveal. Emer had popped by her family home on the way to work this morning to ask for a €4,000 loan for a trip to Thailand she is taking with her friends at the end… Read more »
REPRESENTATIVES for Bord Scannan na hÉireann have announced that a sequel to the much-loved 1990 drama “The Field” has been put into pre-production, with filming expected to begin in Galway later this year. The Field, an adaptation of the John B. Keane play of the same name, was met with critical and financial success when… Read more »
THERE was jubilant scenes in the home of Dublin teenager Amy Halpin this week, after the young girl received news that she had finally been bestowed with the title of ‘masso girlo’ by a committee of her peers. Halpin, 17, cites years of hard work posing for selfies on public transport as well as a… Read more »
AFTER hastily ordering an Apple Watch online some weeks ago, Dublin native Wayne Filan can almost distract the general public away from the fact he has an improbably small penis. The revelation that Filan has an improbably small penis came for a presumption made by the public, who believe he must be overcompensating for something… Read more »
THAT GUY in the wheelchair you’ve been staring at for the last five minutes purposely made eye contact with you just there to make you feel uneasy, he admitted later today. Liam McDermott, who shattered his lower vertebrae in a road collision in 1998, said he could feel someone staring at him while he was eating his… Read more »
