Are You Fucking Kidding Me With This Fiat, Asks Pope

POPE Francis’ historic six-day visit to the United States got off to a shaky start yesterday, as the 266th and current representations of God on Earth was greeted at St Andrew’s air force base by a Fiat 500 not unlike what your Mam might drive. The pontiff initially had a bit of a giggle when… Read more »

Local Man In Heated Argument With Inanimate Object

IF reports circulating in the close knit community of Tramore are to be believed, 35-year-old Damien Cannon is currently locked in a heated argument with his TV, which has no end in sight. Ear witnesses in the houses adjacent to Cannon’s property have confirmed that they heard the argument first spark up at precisely 6.01pm… Read more »

Massive Cunt Hikes Up Price Of Aids Drug

THE world has expressed its outrage after learning that a massive cunt has upped the price of a 62-year-old drug, Daraprim, which is used in the treatment of life threatening parasitic infection, shortly after purchasing the patent for the drug. Head of Turing Pharmaceuticals, Martin Shkreli, increased the price of the drug by $736.50 allowing… Read more »

Enda Kenny Yet To Deny Sheep Shagging Claims

THE Taoiseach Enda Kenny has yet to deny explosive claims made by a Mayo farmer in a new book, as the international fallout from allegations relating to British prime minister David Cameron continues. Encouraged by the reception that story received around the world, several individuals have come forward with their own allegations against heads of… Read more »

Danny Healy-Rae Refuses To Allow Droids In His Pub

KERRY publican Danny Healy-Rae has placed a total ban on protocol droids or astromech units of any sort in his Kilgarva pub, much to the disappointment of the film crew currently shooting Star Wars VIII on Skellig Michael. “Your droids, they’ll have to wait outside,” bellowed Healy-Rae, Kerry councillor and member of the powerful Healy-Rae… Read more »

Dublin Man Realises He’s Living In Dublin

A DUBLIN city resident has expressed shock and complete distress today on his RTE1 radio show after finally coming to the realisation that he is living in Dublin city, Ireland, an island on the west of Europe, The World. Disc Jockey Joseph Duffy, who has apparently spent all his waking life living in the capital city… Read more »

WWN Horoscopes

Aries March 21 – April 19 If your name isn’t David Cameron, then your week is going to be just fine. Taurus April 20 – May 20 Seriously, compared to Cameron, your week is going to be peachy. Gemini May 21 – June 20 Your mum could die, your house could burn down, your dog… Read more »