THAT woman working in the launderette whom you just gave a large bag of dirty clothes to knows what you do with your socks, she revealed after you left. Catherine McHendry (53), told fellow staff members all about the last load you dropped off, which she claimed had “a special little load of its own”…. Read more »
AS almost everyone knows by now, Jesus Christ sensationally broke his 2,000 plus years of silence to tell the public why he is voting yes in the upcoming marriage equality referendum. WWN has gathered some of his reasons below in a handy list. 1) Despite his reservations, Jesus admitted that the referendum is only about… Read more »
A NEW study by some of the countries leading education specialists has revealed that a large portion of Leaving Cert students are more concerned about their Debs ball than they are about their upcoming examinations. The survey was taken over a wide range of students across the country, and revealed that even the most studious… Read more »
SLIGO native Niamh Healy’s eyebrows stopped making sense years ago, WWN can exclusively reveal today. Although for a number of years friends and family of the 23-year-old student have speculated privately as to what exactly was going on with her eyebrows, they have now collectively reached the conclusion that they make little to no sense…. Read more »
A WATERFORD family are said to be in shock following the revelation that man of the house, father-of-three Jason Carney, was erroneously awarded the one-of-a-kind ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ mug. “I remember the ceremony like it was yesterday,” Jason told WWN recalling the morning of his birthday on the 11th of May which saw him honoured… Read more »
THE Garda Commissioner has warned members of the public to avoid ‘broad daylight’ if they are worried about being mugged or attacked, in a new awareness campaign launched in Dublin city this afternoon. Nóirín O’Sullivan was speaking outside Garda headquarters in the Phoenix Park today. “After some research, we found a large majority of attacks… Read more »
AMBULANCES are still at a Meath branch of Lidl this morning, which was the scene of a near-tragic incident that left over thirty people injured, after a newly-opened checkout queue invoked a mass stampede. Shoppers at the Lidl store in Dunboyne had been lined up at the single open checkout for nearly an hour at… Read more »
THERE has been a large increase in the number of people said to be ‘milking’ the marriage equality Yes campaign in a bid to boost their own social standing, a new survey has found today. A staggering 58% of ‘hardcore campaigners’ have admitted to using the up-and-coming referendum for their own self-glory. “I suppose the… Read more »
DERMATOLOGICAL experts in one of Dublin’s leading hospitals are said to be “baffled” by a case in which a teenage girl appears to have turned completely red. The 17-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was admitted to the Mater Misericordiae hospital yesterday lunchtime, accompanied by several of her worried friends. Reports suggest that… Read more »
