WHILE women are famous for multitasking and telling you they can multitask, sadly men are truly bereft of this simple skill. However, thanks to recent advancements in science, there is hope for penis owners. While society is waiting for several scientific patents to be cleared for commercial use, WWN presents men with a few tips… Read more »
CONCERNS have been raised for a Dublin teenager who failed to upload any selfies to social media for well over an hour. Cathy McNeil, 16, last posted a picture of herself pouting and holding up two fingers to her Instagram account this morning, as she waited on the bus which would take her to school…. Read more »
A DRAMATIC escape bid to smuggle Wikileaks founder Julian Assange in four separate boxes from the Ecuadorian embassy has ended in tragedy this morning after the surgeons involved failed to put him back together again. Mr. Assange, who was 44 years old, was reportedly operated on inside the embassy by a team of special surgeons who… Read more »
“Germany thinks it’s fucking great or something welcoming thousands of refugees on trains into its country and embarrassing the rest of us,” Hungarian Prime Minster Viktor Orban said today. His comments follow a German government announcement that it will spend an extra €6bn (£4.4bn) to cope with the record influx of Syrian refugees this year. “It wouldn’t be the first time in… Read more »
PHYSICIANS examining a Dublin man complaining of spinal issues have declared that all his posture and tension problems could possibly be solved if he could just give his back one perfect crack. Liam O’Ryan, 56, has had non-specific back problems for the past year or so, and has opted to do nothing but complain about… Read more »
MARRIED couple Jessica and Martin Varney have come to the conclusion that their neighbour, Alan Hennessey, has gone a bit over the top with the purchase of a new car. Making the assessment from behind the gap in their sitting room curtains, Hennessey’s purchase of a new car was branded as ‘showing off’ by Martin,… Read more »
REFUGEES fleeing the wartorn state of Syria were greeted with a series of diversion signs to the US in a desperate bid to stem the flow of people flooding the European Union seeking asylum. At a meeting on the crisis in Luxemberg, European Union foreign ministers decided it was best to erect the signs following… Read more »
WITH only hours left before the return of The Late Late Show, host Ryan Tubridy has locked himself in his dressing room to run through his range of expressions to help him appear enthusiastic about the show. The Late Late Show, now in its 54th season, remains RTÉ’s flagship show and one of its highest-rated… Read more »
A STARTLING new study has found that a large majority of people who leave the foil on spreadable butter tubs are actually complete psychopaths and shouldn’t be trusted. The study, carried out by researchers from Harvard University in the United States of America, said people who refuse to just take the foil off despite the… Read more »
MEDIA baron Rupert Murdoch is desperately hoping Rebekah Brooks acknowledges his latest in a long line of public flirtations, WWN can reveal. Murdoch has tried in the past, on several occasions, to express his love and devotion for Brooks, most famously through a lucrative compensation package paid to the former News of the World editor… Read more »
