‘Streets A Safer Place Without 80-Year-Old Peace Activist’, Insists Minister for Justice

THE people of Ireland breathed a sigh of relief today as Minister for justice Frances Fitzgerald announced that the notorious criminal Margaretta D’Arcy is tonight behind bars, where she belongs. 80-year-old Ms. D’Arcy has been a constant threat to the safety of Irish civilians for years, following her refusal to cease protesting the landing of military… Read more »

Debate Continues Over What Constitutes A Gay Cake

A DEBATE as to the sexual orientation of cakes has continued to divide people in Northern Ireland with no signs of a compromise or consensus being reached. “When is a cake a gay cake?” Pondered Eamon Spillane, a rival of nearby Asher’s Baking Company, the bakery at the centre of the gay cake row. “We’ve… Read more »

Croke Park Residents Wondering What Else They Can Accomplish

MEMBERS of the Croke Park Residents Association, who successfully opposed five consecutive Garth Brooks concerts, were yesterday musing over what other social grievances and injustices they can take on. The committee, who were said to be surprised that just taking a stand actually worked, is currently reaching out to members of fellow communities to help… Read more »

Banshee Sightings Down 100%

A NEW report from the Irish Mythological Association has revealed an alarming decline in Banshee sightings over the past decade. The results of the study reveal that in the years 2004-2014, there were zero reports of the dreaded spirit; a 100% decrease from the previous time frame. The Banshee, often depicted as either a beautiful… Read more »

Garth Brooks Files Lawsuit Against Ireland

Just when we thought ‘Garthgate’ couldn’t get any crazier the singer is set to sue the Republic of Ireland in its entirety following ‘insurmountable reputational damage’ incurred in the recent weeks. While details are still emerging it appears that, despite the concept of suing a country having little legal foundation, such is the extent to… Read more »