“It looks nice out, but it’s actually friggin’ Baltic,” giggled one immigration bureau official, peering out through the blinds at the queue of hundreds of people snaking down Burgh Quay. “Some of these poor bastards have been standing out there since last night. They must be bursting for a piss at this stage”. We’re spending… Read more »
EARLY commuters making their way through Dublin city centre this morning may have caught a glimpse of a young male fox, who was wandering around the Five Lamps area of town without a fucking notion as to why he was there, or indeed, what he was doing. Sniffing around wheelie bins and parked cars, commuters… Read more »
GROWING up with a debilitating illness is one thing, but for punchable face owner Charlie Moore, life and genetics can deal you a whole new hand of cards. “I got punched on my first day of playschool, and it all seemed to start from there,” Moore recalls. “All through my life, random people have come… Read more »
INDEPENDENT TDs Danny and Michael Healy-Rae have confirmed that they will appear live at this year’s electric Picnic festival, following a barnstorming performance outside Leinster House yesterday. The Kerry pair had attended the first Dáil session after the general election with an intention to be seen as heavy hitters in the world of Irish politics,… Read more »
MEMBERS of An Garda Síochána were welcomed back this week after finally been taken off water meter duty in a bid to tackle actual crime. Following their return, thousands of Gardaí were immediately deployed to Dublin city to help with ongoing searches relating to the Kinahan crime feud, which has resulted in several high profile… Read more »
FORMER Tánaiste Joan Burton has been asked by the Ceann Comhairle to clarify what she meant when she told the TDs in the Dáil chamber that they should “join us or perish in a lake of fire and blood”, during bizarre scenes in which her eyes rolled back into her head revealing nothing but emptiness…. Read more »
THERE has been a huge sway in support in the direction of ISIS after the caliphate keen killers vowed to wipe the Kardashians off the face of the planet. “We carefully weighed up our options, killing Muslims, Christians, homosexuals, guys called Dave, each act further alienated us from the infidel when truthfully, we needed to… Read more »
A DUBLIN woman has appeared in court today charged with gross negligence, after authorities received word that she had been willfully mistreating her spirit animal. Sheila McGahon, who cannot be named for legal reasons, pleaded no contest to the charges and was slapped with a €5,000 fine after her spirit animal was found in what… Read more »
A BRAVE Waterford man has opened up to WWN and detailed the horrific seconds he spent in the entry porch at a branch of AIB, waiting for the light on the door to go green so he could enter the building. James Hunterly, 36, spent an agonising 3 seconds waiting for the outside door of… Read more »
