“We’d Have A Vote On Abortion But We Want To Stay In Power” Confirm Government

THE GOVERNMENT has confirmed it would stage a referendum on the 8th amendment of the constitution tomorrow, if it wasn’t concentrating so hard on staying in power. Citing its commitment to itself, the government explained that doing things like ‘making decisions’ could come at the price of another election, resulting in a loss of power…. Read more »

Shakespeare Breaks Beyoncé’s Record For Number Of Ghostwriters

ENGLISH playwright and bane of schoolchildren’s existence everywhere, William Shakespeare, has been revealed as the new holder of a Guinness World Record, previously held by Beyoncé, WWN can reveal. With news that 23 academics have confirmed Christopher Marlowe, among countless other writers, contributed to some of the Shakespeare’s most beloved works, the bard has now… Read more »