“No, No, No…Don’t Get Me Wrong, Wearing Yoga Pants Is Fine!” Backtracks Donegal priest

A CATHOLIC priest who warned his parishioners they were putting their souls in jeopardy by taking part in yoga classes has backtracked on his earlier comments, confirming that ‘wearing Yoga pants is fine’, just as long as you’re not participating in the activity itself. The county Donegal priest, who banned advertisements for Yoga classes from… Read more »

Record Number Of Dubs Pretending To Follow GAA

PASSIONATE Dublin GAA fans have complained publically once again about so-called ‘sunshine’ fans in the capital city. Data collected by the Dublin Supporter’s Club (DSC) reveals that there has been a year on year increase of 10% in ‘stupid, clueless fuckers’ who only choose to support Dublin for a grand total of 1 or 2… Read more »

‘Streets A Safer Place Without 80-Year-Old Peace Activist’, Insists Minister for Justice

THE people of Ireland breathed a sigh of relief today as Minister for justice Frances Fitzgerald announced that the notorious criminal Margaretta D’Arcy is tonight behind bars, where she belongs. 80-year-old Ms. D’Arcy has been a constant threat to the safety of Irish civilians for years, following her refusal to cease protesting the landing of military… Read more »

Debate Continues Over What Constitutes A Gay Cake

A DEBATE as to the sexual orientation of cakes has continued to divide people in Northern Ireland with no signs of a compromise or consensus being reached. “When is a cake a gay cake?” Pondered Eamon Spillane, a rival of nearby Asher’s Baking Company, the bakery at the centre of the gay cake row. “We’ve… Read more »

Croke Park Residents Wondering What Else They Can Accomplish

MEMBERS of the Croke Park Residents Association, who successfully opposed five consecutive Garth Brooks concerts, were yesterday musing over what other social grievances and injustices they can take on. The committee, who were said to be surprised that just taking a stand actually worked, is currently reaching out to members of fellow communities to help… Read more »

Banshee Sightings Down 100%

A NEW report from the Irish Mythological Association has revealed an alarming decline in Banshee sightings over the past decade. The results of the study reveal that in the years 2004-2014, there were zero reports of the dreaded spirit; a 100% decrease from the previous time frame. The Banshee, often depicted as either a beautiful… Read more »