Obama Probably Not Going To Visit Guantanamo Bay While In Cuba

US PRESIDENT Barack Obama’s historic visit to Cuba will probably not involve visiting the Guantanamo Bay detention centre, with the president seemingly confirming it by stating “that would just be depressing”, after being pressed by reporters. More questions followed to why exactly the president wouldn’t want to visit the site of significant torture and human… Read more »

Tampons Recalled After Failing Kitesurfing Test

FEMIPAX, a leading manufacturer of feminine sanitary products, has been forced to pull their line of tampons from supermarket shelves after it was found they were unsuitable for use while Kitesurfing. By EU standards, all tampons should provide lasting freshness and confidence to women all day, regardless of what activity they may get up to…. Read more »

Post Paddy’s Day Clean Up To Cost €14.5 Billion

THE total cost of the post-Paddy’s Day clean up has already reached €14.5 billion, the highest on record in the post-boom years, WWN can reveal. As the public begins collecting their relatives and friends from busy city streets in which they drunkenly fall asleep on last night, local authorities are counting the cost of yet… Read more »

Runaway English Paddy’s Day Float Crashes Into GPO

A MAJOR incident is unfolding at the St. Patrick’s Day parade in Dublin city centre, WWN has learned. Gardaí, the Army and the Fire Brigade are all on the scene outside the GPO, in large numbers after what eye-witnesses described as a ‘pro-English’ float careened into the GPO causing significant damage. “We’re kicking ourselves now,… Read more »

Court Hears How ‘Neglected’ Anders Breivik Suffered For Months With Playstation Blisters

JAILED mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik has today accused the Norwegian state of neglect and attempted murder, telling the judge presiding over his human rights trial that he spent over 6 months with “stingy playstation blisters” on his thumbs without any treatment. Breivik, a right-wing extremist who killed 77 people in a bombing and gun… Read more »