RESEARCH on a 24 stone Kilkenny man has revealed that contrary to claims that his size is due to his bones being bigger than most peoples’ bones, he is in actual fact just a big fat pig. Peadar Hamilton, a 33-year-old security guard from Kilkenny city always described his excess mass as “a bit of… Read more »
EMERGENCY services were called to a county Waterford Primary school today after 12 children broke down in hysterics after an older kid ruined the Santa myth for them. Three ambulances were called to St. Kevin’s CBS in Dungarvan to treat Ms. Maher’s entire senior infant class. “I stepped out to go to the toilet and… Read more »
DERMOT Mahony has today shocked family members by revealing his 234th flight with low fares airline Ryanair will be his last. “I can’t believe what they’ve done,” Dermot relayed to his family as he returned from Dublin airport earlier today. “The airport over there was in the middle of nowhere,” he added with shock despite… Read more »
MUSIC fans across the British Isles said they were unsure why Olly Murs is ‘still a thing’, it has been revealed today. In an online poll by Music Lovers Magazine, a staggering 98% of of participants chose the ‘no idea’ option when asked why the English singer-songwriter was still making it to the charts. “He… Read more »
PRELIMINARY examinations of an application pack which was filled with excrement and mailed back to Irish Water have found that the documents were full of shite to begin with. The letter, which was posted to a Cork centre which deals with Irish Water customers, was found to be coated with what is believed to be human… Read more »
TENSIONS have grown today in the USA, as reports began to emerge that members of the Police Department had shot and killed Black Friday. Black Friday, the day following Thanksgiving, is traditionally known as the start of the Christmas shopping period in America. Many stores open early, and offer huge discounts leading to a massive… Read more »
WITH temperatures across the country beginning to drop and frosty mornings becoming the norm, workers at a Dublin accountancy firm are bracing themselves for their annoying co-worker to insist they feel how cold her hands are. Pamela McGuigan, a 29-year-old receptionist with Leeson & Associates will spend not only today, but every day from now… Read more »
JOBBRIDGE intern Kevin Murray has little to no knowledge of the fact he will be required to work Christmas Day this year. It is expected Kevin will gain invaluable experience during his 6am-10pm shift as he is entrusted with manning the WWN offices all by himself. He will be required to use many journalistic skills… Read more »
70% of the country’s Christmas parties lie in ruins this morning after police in Northern Ireland successfully seized cocaine with a street value well in excess of €3 million. It is thought much of the cocaine was destined for the south of Ireland as Christmas party season kicks off in earnest. Cocaine, a staple of… Read more »
THE true meaning of Christmas is set to cost Irish parents an average of €1,500 this year, WWN can exclusively reveal. Many panicked parents are rushing around shops trying to purchase all the necessary items to make it a thoroughly special time for all the family, especially the children. This is despite the true meaning… Read more »
