RECENTLY elected TDs have gone on record and admitted that when it comes to the matter of what exactly is happening right now, they aren’t really all that sure. February’s general election saw no party or coalition garner enough support to form a government, which was followed by a Dáil vote to elect a Taoiseach… Read more »
A COMPREHENSIVE study of movies scheduled for release in the next 18 months has revealed that 86% of all screen-time will be devoted to skyscrapers falling down. Hollywood producers have employed a record-breaking number of SFX artists and sound engineers to create hour-long scenes of buildings collapsing in clouds of dust and smoke, with windows… Read more »
We here at WWN Banter absolutely loved the Rising, we mean like, really loved it and we couldn’t let this historically significant anniversary go by without providing a definitive ranking of those involved based solely on their fuck-a-bility, so without further a do, here’s our countdown: 10) A new entry at 10, it’s the O’Farrell’s… Read more »
THE caretaker government is wholly reliant on the public’s ability to be distracted by other things in order for the symphysiotomy survivors redress scheme to quietly dispose of vital medical records belonging to the survivors of the medical procedure. “Jesus, whatever you do, don’t draw any bloody attention to it, then we’d have to do… Read more »
FOLLOWING a decade-long battle with his evening nightcaps, Waterford man Dermot Hynes announced today that he is to quit giving up the drink, and will continue his routine of 3-5 pints a night, despite increasing health issues. Hynes (38), said he was sick-to-death, telling everyone that he was giving up giving up the drink, and… Read more »
“IT’S all about striking a balance really,” Fr. Cian Shaughnessy tells WWN from inside the house he shares with two other Catholic priests in their parish of St. Brendan’s. “The three oldest are that bit more grown up now, so you can juggle it all a bit better,” Fr. Cian adds, keeping his modesty intact… Read more »
REPRESENTATIVES for the Sanders family in America have gone on record to confirm that they much prefer Bernie, the front-runner for the Democratic nomination for the office of the President of the United States, to the Colonel, who sells fried chicken in buckets. 74-year-old Bernie has been deemed a much better representative of the Sanders… Read more »
LEADING physicians have placed Earth on life support as it continues to suffer with an incurable bout of human beings, WWN has learned. The cancerous presence was found on Earth thousands of years ago and has since metastesised affecting every corner of the Earth, spreading to every vital location. “We wish there was more we… Read more »
IRELAND is riddled with wrong ‘uns; from drug-dealing crimelords to ruthless Republicans, from morally bankrupt politicians to utterly corrupt business people, but regardless of how soullessly awful someone is, you’ll always find someone to say ‘ah sure, he isn’t the worst of them’. If you’re perhaps not living your life the way you should, then… Read more »
CHRIS MARTIN has opened up about the end of his marriage and subsequent divorce from actress Gwyneth Paltrow, claiming things got so bad he almost began listening to his band’s music. “Oh, I nearly lost it altogether, I was willing myself to feel bad, so I thought ‘do you know what would help with that?… Read more »
