Movies Now 86% Just Buildings Collapsing

A COMPREHENSIVE study of movies scheduled for release in the next 18 months has revealed that 86% of all screen-time will be devoted to skyscrapers falling down. Hollywood producers have employed a record-breaking number of SFX artists and sound engineers to create hour-long scenes of buildings collapsing in clouds of dust and smoke, with windows… Read more »

Top 10 Rides Of The Rising

We here at WWN Banter absolutely loved the Rising, we mean like, really loved it and we couldn’t let this historically significant anniversary go by without providing a definitive ranking of those involved based solely on their fuck-a-bility, so without further a do, here’s our countdown: 10) A new entry at 10, it’s the O’Farrell’s… Read more »

Government Just Going To Shred Symphysiotomy Survivors Records While You’re Distracted

THE caretaker government is wholly reliant on the public’s ability to be distracted by other things in order for the symphysiotomy survivors redress scheme to quietly dispose of vital medical records belonging to the survivors of the medical procedure. “Jesus, whatever you do, don’t draw any bloody attention to it, then we’d have to do… Read more »

Local Man Quits Giving Up The Drink

FOLLOWING a decade-long battle with his evening nightcaps, Waterford man Dermot Hynes announced today that he is to quit giving up the drink, and will continue his routine of 3-5 pints a night, despite increasing health issues. Hynes (38), said he was sick-to-death, telling everyone that he was giving up giving up the drink, and… Read more »

Earth Put On Life Support Machine

LEADING physicians have placed Earth on life support as it continues to suffer with an incurable bout of human beings, WWN has learned. The cancerous presence was found on Earth thousands of years ago and has since metastesised affecting every corner of the Earth, spreading to every vital location. “We wish there was more we… Read more »