WWN’s Horoscopes

Kilkenny Urged To Give Someone Else A Chance

PLEAS have been made to Kilkenny on behalf of a number of hurling mad counties to just step aside and give someone else a chance, WWN has learned. “You’re not impressing anyone anymore, we get it, you’re class at hurling. What-a-surprise,” a disgruntled Clare native Olwyn Ní Mhurchú shouted in the general direction of Kilkenny… Read more »

Waterford Brothers Get Gold Medal For Rowing

THERE were emotional scenes in Waterford this afternoon after a pair of brothers picked up Gold medals for their rowing performance in the town centre late last night. Michael and Francis McHassely, aged 24 and 29 respectively, impressed the judge with their latest row which took place outside a chip shop at 11:45 last night…. Read more »

98% Of Garda Foot Pursuits End Up On City Rooftops

THE Garda Síochána Ombudsman Commission (GSOC) confirmed today that 98% of foot pursuits in the capital end up in dramatic chases over city rooftops. Out of 9,851 pursuits, a staggering 9, 653 came to some sort of conclusion at the top of a building, forcing the Minister for Justice to review new measures to deal with the ongoing… Read more »