COUNTY WATERFORD native Hugh Devlin vowed to join the gym again this week after realising his fitness levels are not what they should be when it comes to walking up steep inclines. The 43-year-old made the discovery whilst walking with neighbour and friend Martin Dunphy, who bumped into him at their local shop. “I said… Read more »
WWN understands that earlier today a Dublin man was treated for shock following an incident involving his erection. Patrick Dooley, a 22 year-old DIT student, was on the 16 bus heading out of town when the disturbing incident occurred. Eye witness accounts state that Patrick seemed to look around nervously as the bus approached the… Read more »
A STUPID out of touch fool from Cork turned up for work today without hearing anything about the whole Jay Z incident with Beyoncé’s sister yet. The complete waste of space entered the cafeteria at 9:15 am this morning and sat down with colleagues who were in deep conversation about the attack. Without even thinking,… Read more »
Disturbing scenes were witnessed by staff at the head offices of Xpress Delivery in Waterford earlier today. WWN has learned that Xpress Delivery employee, Lauren Traynor, informed her co-workers that she still hasn’t got around to eating her Easter eggs. “She just sort of blurted it out,” explained uneasy Xpress employee Darragh Little, “and I… Read more »
IN the aftermath of the conclusion of the Premier League race the football world focused its attention on the announcement of those responsible for England’s upcoming World Cup failure. The occasion was not without its casualties as a number of high profile players got the unfortunate news that they would be on the plane to… Read more »
The tabloid media is at a virtual standstill as it prepares for Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton to reveal her latest haircut at a press conference later today. While speculation has been rife for some time, it is now clear that the wife of the future King of England, Prince William will adjust her hair… Read more »
TENS of confused people were said to be ‘alleviated’ today after an elderly woman confirmed there was ‘miserable weather outside’ whilst waiting in a queue for the post office. Sources say many customers were disorientated when they initially entered the building; not knowing what the hell was happening outside. “I remember having my umbrella up… Read more »
DUBLIN man Timmy Ryan turned heads in Bray yesterday afternoon by parading his young son Cahal on his shoulders down the promenade area of the beach, forcing many strollers to stop and stare at his parental awesomeness. The 34-year-old first started the practice when his son was just 6 months old, and swears by the… Read more »
RTE chiefs have already started preparing for next year’s Eurovision song contest with a plan to emulate this year’s winning entry, which saw Austrian “bearded lady” Conchita Wurst emerge victorious with the song “Rise Like A Phoenix”. Having failed to make it out of the semi-finals this year, reports suggest that Donnybrook officials want to… Read more »
THE AMERICAN first lady has been desperately practising her best “concerned face” in front of the mirror this morning before delivering her husband’s weekly presidential address to condemn last month’s abduction of Nigerian girls. Mrs. Obama, a lawyer and writer, is expected to look as sincere as she possibly can for the duration of the… Read more »
