Galway Dolphins Take To Land Killing 24 People

FOLLOWING on from swimmers being assaulted by dolphins in the Salthill area of Galway yesterday comes the devastating news that angry and aggressive dolphins have taken to Galway mainland killing as many as 24 people. “I wish I could say that after killing these pensioners the dolphins didn’t have the presence of mind to rifle… Read more »

Mom On School Run To Park Wherever The Fuck She Likes

A COUNTY Waterford mother declared today that she can park wherever the fuck she likes when collecting her son from school. Geraldine Mackey, from Hillview in the city, made the decision quite some time ago when her “precious little boy” Fiachra complained of being tired after walking some distance to school one morning. “I think… Read more »

Irish Water Director Also Works As Big Issue Vendor

IRISH Water director Hilary Quinlan has come under fire yet again today after it was revealed that he also sells Big Issue magazines in Waterford city during the morning rush hour, bringing his total number of jobs to 12. The former Fine Gael Councillor was snapped outside a local train station today at 8:30am, begging people to buy the… Read more »

The HSE Celebrates 1 Millionth Neglected Patient

ALTHOUGH the HSE was only established in 2005 it has today proudly announced it has neglected its 1 millionth patient, much to the chagrin of every overworked front line staff member. It has come as a shock to the people of Ireland that it has taken so long for the HSE to reach such a… Read more »