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Heineken Sales Down As Dickheads Migrate To Craft Beers
BREWING giant Heineken has suffered a decline in sales this quarter as well known dickheads migrate to a new plane ... -
Irish Water Christmas Party Promises To Be Mad Craic Altogether
DESPITE damning reports that over a million people have yet to return their completed forms, registering themselves as customers, Irish ... -
Luas Bell To Be Replaced With Voice Yelling “Get The Fuck Out Of The Way”
A SPOKESPERSON for the Dublin Transportation Office has announced new measures to cut down on the amount of collisions between ... -
Close Resemblances Found Between South African And Irish Justice Systems
STUDENTS of law have noted several key instances where the Irish judicial system is found to closely mirror that of ... -
Ireland Opens First ‘Don’t Fucking Mention Christmas’ Zone In Dublin
USING the ingenuity, anger and intimidation Dubliners are famous for, a group of intrepid capital city residents have opened the ... -
Calls For Emergency Aid As Distraught Mayo Family Lose Patio Chair In Hurricane Gonzalo
HURRICANE survivors, the Mooney family, are calling on the government for emergency aid after one of their patio chairs was ... -
Gates Of Hell To Be Re-Opened In April 2015, Warns Palace
BUCKINGHAM Palace has warned today that the gates of hell will reopen again in April next year for a brief ... -
Hurricane To Bring Strong Winds, Rain & Excuse To Moan About Everything
THE blustery and rain-soaked aftermath of Hurricane Gonzalo is fast approaching Irish shores, giving dour and negative people the perfect ... -
Irish Ebola ‘Ruled Out’ After Woman’s Symptoms Carefully Typed Into Google
IRELAND’S first case of Ebola was ruled out this afternoon after a suspected patient’s symptoms were carefully typed into Google, ...