YESTERDAY saw the Department of the Environment unveil provisional figures of annual water costs, with the price of an average shower estimated at 25c. Parents of teenagers are today expressing concern over the fact that these figures do no factor in the extra time caused by masturbation during showering, which is set to push household… Read more »
The scientific community have been left astounded by data retrieved by a group of scientists who ventured to the Antarctic in search of further evidence of global warming. ‘Team Discoverers of Things’ was made up of 16 scientists from 8 countries sought to find evidence of global warming by documenting the dimensions of a number… Read more »
MINISTER for transport Leo Varadkar said he will promise to meet up with ousted Justice Minister Alan Shatter for a pint sometime, “when all this politics stuff was over”. Mr. Varadkar made the pact shortly after lunch time yesterday, when the two men met up for the last time in Leinster house. “Sure, you won’t… Read more »
While the resignation of the Minister for Justice Alan Shatter grabbed all the headlines yesterday, another political story flew under the radar only to be exclusively reported on by WWN. It is believed the Government worked all through the night to form and enact emergency legislation dealing with the production of endless videos involving the… Read more »
SINN Fein president Gerry Adams has made a formal complaint to the Police Service of Northern Ireland (PSNI) over their “weak interrogation techniques” over the weekend, stating: “They don’t make interrogators like they used to.” Mr Adams was released without charge on Sunday night after four days of questioning by detectives about the 1972 murder of… Read more »
THERE were touching yet somewhat depressing scenes in Dublin last night as friends gathered to acknowledge perennial ‘just a friend’ Darragh Sweeney on the occasion of his 25th birthday. “Ah, I love him to bits,” shared beautiful model and strictly friends with Darragh, Ciara Coveney. “Me and Darragh? God, no! I mean he asked me… Read more »
IN a tell-all article for Vanity Fair, former White House intern Monica Lewinsky detailed her frustrations in attempting to remove stained semen from her favourite blue dress. Monica Lewinsky gained notoriety in the late 90s, after admitting to having an ‘inappropriate relationship’ with then US President Bill Clinton while she worked at the White House… Read more »
WWN can exclusively reveal that the Nation has begun its annual berating of the Eurovision song contest only to subsequently watch the show in its entirety. As many as 1 in 3 Irish men will deny they are going to watch the Eurovision, glibly remarking that they would rather stick their manhood in the deep… Read more »
Joseph Kony, leader of the LRA and star of 2012 internet trend ‘Kony 2012’ has rushed to reassure Jihadist group Boko Haram and their leader that they have very little to worry about despite increased media and internet scrutiny. Boko Haram have belatedly made international headlines in recent days thanks to their abhorrent kidnapping of… Read more »
THE Department of Agriculture has been asked to investigate the sad and troubling case of a horse which has been waiting to go to its new home in France for over a decade. It is believed a minefield of EU regulations and red tape coupled with a bitter family feud have been key factors in… Read more »
