Serial Online Defender Who’ll Die For Any Rape-Accused Man Adds Clavicular To The Roster

LOCAL man Derek Fennelan pulled back his duvet, rolled up his sleeves and clocked in for yet another day of defending rape accused, rape convicted and civilly liable for rape men online, in the hopes of one day proving that it’s actually money-hungry women behind it all, like that bitch Jenny McGloughlin who got him fired all those years ago.

“It’s amazing how it’s only the rich and successful good-looking men who call out the legacy media lies getting accused,” Fennelan (33) actually typed, as the only woman who ever truly loved him interrupted his flow with a text about dropping over his washing shortly. “I’m out having a coffee mam! Something big has come up that I’m working on. Can’t explain.”

Fennelan’s early start was sparked by a wave of notifications from various messaging apps, a familiar pattern which dated back to Conor McGregor’s first reported sexual assault nearly 7 years ago.

“I’ve stood by Mac all the way, and I’ll stand by all my men,” the remote worker wrote under another thread, unaware of the slightly homoerotic fixation he was betraying, and the bitter undertones of a man who had himself once been accused of misconduct, too obscure to make the news.

“This is exactly what Andrew and Tristan predicted, the matrix will come for you if you’re a successful alpha male who likes to drive fast cars and fuck bitches,” he added, blissfully ignoring Tate’s own lawyers who confirmed their personas were all a cunning ruse to trap insecure men like himself into a €49.99 monthly subscription to help pay for their rented cars and villas.

Meanwhile, Clavicular has reached for the so-called alpha-movement’s go-to line, dismissing the charges against him as people who ‘try to come for your money when you’re a successful young man’ a defence Fennelan found deeply persuasive.