“Is The New ‘Resident Evil’ Official Canon?” – All The Big Issues Being Debated At The UN General Assembly Today

THE MEETING OF 130 heads of state and government are attending the annual assembly at the United Nations, addressing the world’s most pressing issues, such as a definitive ruling on whether or not the new ‘Resident Evil’ movie is set in the world of the previous entries in movie franchise adapted from the popular games.

“The people need assurances,” Antonio Guterres said, in his final UN general assembly speech.

“About Sudan?” one hopeful delegate voiced with urgency.

“No, about Resident Evil. I loved it, it’s standalone but is it really?” confirmed Guterres, outlining the topics that would take up much of the discussion today.

Several motions relating to ongoing conflicts and perilous disasters that could be avoided if world leaders could show some leadership have been shelved in favour of more pressing issues.

“Palestine stands alone? No, you fool, I’m saying it IS a standalone film. End of debate. No connection to the wider Resident Evil universe. Anyone who says different doesn’t deserve to be listened to in debates on this or climate change” one frustrated delegate shared.

“Fighting through hordes of mutating creatures? That sounds like your average vote in this chamber!” another remarked, as they sought to table a motion on what can be done to help Spurs turn around their awful start to the season.

“Frankly I think you’re all ridiculous, what a spurious and empty concern you all have. Can’t you see there’s serious things to discuss,” confirmed another leader, before asking for the council to support his resolution to demand a new album from Rihanna.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah we’ll get to all that war stuff, right now I’ve got to pick a fake fight with UN to distract from my terrible record,” confirmed Donald Trump, accusing the UN of setting fire to US farmers’ tractors.