Perfectly Okay To Disagree With Politician Without Assaulting Them, Finds Study

A STUDY commissioned by the blindingly obvious has concluded that it is actually possible to disagree with a politician without resorting to assaulting them and that the vast majority of people manage to do this just fine, WWN can report.

“In fact, it’s preferable,” confirmed the study’s author, publishing their findings in the wake of TD Michael Healy Rae being the victim of an unprovoked assault in his car while it was stuck in traffic.

However, the study’s author cautioned that ‘the technology that enables fucking idiots to use their words’ could be years away.

“For you and me, we can write numbers in the little boxes on our ballot paper at each election, others find that a bit more difficult. What the study proves is that it’s very easy to disagree, protest, advocate and organise to bring about the change you want to see, but for demented donuts such as this attacker engaging in a discussion is as challenging as climbing up Mount Everest backwards on your arse in the nip,” the author added.

Having ruled out the possibility that an anti-flat cap extremist group was behind the assault, the Gardaí has since arrested the man they believe to be responsible with gardaí stating they narrowed down the identity of the suspect to an individual who has a room temperature IQ and easily outwitted by the seal on packets of sliced ham.

“In order to try to gain an insight into the perpetrator’s mind and their way of not thinking we gave ourselves a lobotomy, but all we’ve got from that was thinking we went blind when someone switched the lights off in the office,” confirmed one investigating garda.