Five Pro-IDF Bangers To Learn If You’re Looking To Book A Support Slot On A US Concert Tour

JUST formed a band or plugging away at a music career for decades? Either way, you might be wanting to secure yourself a lucrative slot on a US tour playing some of the largest stadiums in the country but are unsure how to make sure you never displease concert venues owners.

WWN Entertainment has five pro-IDF bangers that will get you on the road supporting-slot superstardom:

1) “War (What Is It Good For? Justifying Killing Thousands Of Innocent Civilians, That’s What!)”

A fist-pumping legendary pro-war anthem all about how 20,000 dead children and counting isn’t really something to get worked up about and definitely not something to advocate an end to. Just don’t murder the chorus and you’ll be on your way. What US mega-arena would refuse such a crowd-pulverising hit?

2) “Thinking Out Loud”

A lyrically bland if passable guitar ballad with an ironic title, the tune doesn’t really say anything of note but that’s sort of the point. It’s radio friendly, has mass appeal, and most importantly does not urge any independent thinking in an audience.

3) “Feat. Kanye West”

Venues in the US seem to have no problem with certain artists despite their well-documented anti-semitism. Pick a song, any song, as long as it has Ye on a verse. Crucially this song’s lyrics make no mention of certain stadium owners appearing in the Epstein files.

4) “I Hold No Strong Opinions, I Will Not Put Your Multi-Million Dollar Tour At Risk”

A memorable hit song beloved by all tour managers, booking agents and record company executives.

5) “This Land Is Your Land” – Woodie Guthrie

You’ll have to change the lyrics in this one, maybe ‘When the sun came shining, and I was strolling, And the wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling’ becomes ‘When the sun came shining, and I was strolling,
The West Bank was flattened by settlers’ steam rolling’. But maybe leave the re-writing to the IDF press office, they’re the experts after all.