“Oh My God Our AI Is So, So Advanced & Dangerous” Confirm CEOs Of AI Companies Making Huge Losses & In Desperate Need Of Investment

THE LEADING figures in the burning-through-cash-like-an-incinerator-on-meth industry have come together to voice their concern that their AI technology is so scary and world-changing that the only thing that could cure it is vast amounts of investment from major international funds, WWN Business can reveal.

“No, I’m not making baseless claims that my AI is so super duper and out-of-control fantastic, why would I do that? To drum up investment or something? You think a company that made a loss of $21bn last year needs to overhype its future potential? Come on,” confirmed Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI.

Reassuring the public that the water sapping data centres are an aspect of the AI industry that is really nothing to worry about, leading AI company CEOs warned investment firms instead that if they didn’t invest now another rival firm will be the one who gets to enslave the world.

“Oh my God it’s so dangerous, this AI, and the only way to stop it would be to get investors hard over its world-ending capabilities,” added Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei, in a rare show of solidarity among sociopaths with little regard for the average person.

Amodei insisted his firm is absolutely not at risk of running out of money and that periodically pushing out PR about how phenomenally dangerous the technology is should just be taken at face value and with an open check book.

“I watched this documentary the other night ‘T2: Judgement Day’, that shit is crazy. Maybe we need regulation and to put the brakes this AI stuff, well not the generating non-consensual images part of AI, the other bits,” confirmed GrokAI overlord Elon Musk.