“There’s No Hosepipe Ban Around Here” Says Husband Helicoptering Mickey In Front Of Wife In Surprisingly Unfruitful Seduction Attempt

RELYING on his obvious world class wit and punning ability, local husband Noel Keeley has expressed his shock at news swinging his Mickey around while bollock naked and flirtatiously announcing ‘no hosepipe band around here’ has not reduced his wife to an erotic puddle, WWN can share.

“Keep that nonsense up and the hosepipe ban will be followed up by a decade’s long drought,” remarked Keeley’s wife Shauna, as she walked passed her husband, her eyes never gazing upon as she unpacked the shopping.

Clearly picking up on the subtle subterranean signals that indicated to her husband that he should continue his playful eejitry, Keeley doubled down on his mickey helicoptering, now adding an running commentary which mimicked local water warnings heard on the news.

“Oh would you give over acting the eejit, the neighbours might see, and the kids are due home in an hour,” Shauna offered while throwing various grocery items at Keeley.

Crestfallen at his wife’s failure to understand she was in the company of suave seducer, the wounded Keeley made his feelings known.

“You know there’s not many men who’d be this romantic with their wives, you’re lucky is what you are,” he outlined.

“In fact, I don’t know what’s gotten into you Shauna love, it must be the heat, yeah, that’s it, the heat is driving you loopy or something,” Keeley added, stark naked in his kitchen, his mickey helicoptering finally slowing down to a complete stop.