Couple’s House Nowhere Near Nice Enough To Be Enforcing ‘Shoes Off’ Rule

A LOCAL Waterford couple have ‘some cheek’ to be demanding people take off their shoes upon crossing the threshold of the family home, WWN has learned.

Issuing a stern demand to ‘de-shoe’ hidden behind polite smiles, John and Patricia McCartlin of 27 Elm Close, Tramore, Waterford have become known among friends and family as running a ‘foot prison’ for guests.

“I’m more concerned about what’s on their raggedy rugs, never mind what I’d be walking into the house on the bottom of my shoes. The kitchen floor is laminate for fuck sake. I’ve seen cleaner open sewers in Delhi,” explained one visitor to the McCartlins who can’t believe they think their house qualifies as pristine enough to warrant a ‘no shoes’ policy.

“The last time the place saw a hoover the Spice Girls were still together, but it’s me in my spotless white trainers that are the problem,” added John’s brother Michael who was often enraged by the fact the presence of dog Toddy in the McCartlin’s house meant he left with dog hair all over his socks.

When approached by WWN to comment on the policy, the McCartlins insisted they ‘just like to keep things clean’.

“The no shoes thing is kind of more homely too, a more relaxed vibe,” explained Patricia, unaware the anxiety that can run through the body of a guest when they realise they’re wearing a pair of gammy socks with holes in them.

“I bet you they’re into feet. That’s what it is, the dirty freaks, I never wear sandals if I know I’m going to have to knock in to borrow the lawn mover, ” confirmed neighbour of the couple, Martin O’Brien.

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