Teenage Daughter Needs At Least 48 Hours’ Notice Before Going Anywhere

SPONTANEOUS trips to the shop or impromptu family walks will now require at least 48 hours’ written notice, following the release of a formal set of conditions issued by 15-year-old Jessica Harte via Snapchat.

The statement was circulated shortly after Jessica was asked if she would like to join a ‘nice family walk’ with her two younger siblings, Gerry and Melissa. The proposal was met with a brief but definitive response of “I’m not ready”.

“Fair enough, we probably did spring it on her,” said mother Ciara, speaking shortly after receiving the twelve-Snap document outlining the new terms. “But some of the conditions feel a bit excessive for a walk to the shop”.

Among the requirements marked as ‘important’ were the following:

• Cannot go if it’s too windy as my hair will get messy
• Walks must take place in areas where nobody from school can see us together
• Phone usage to remain unrestricted at all times
• Minimum 48 hours’ notice required to choose outfit
• Five days’ notice required for visits to nanny’s to allow for mental preparation
• McDonald’s or Eddie Rockets to be provided after walk as compensation

Signing the agreement with a thumbs-up emoji, the family confirmed they are now ‘just delighted she’s open to negotiations at all’ with further discussions about outings expected to be reviewed on a case-by-case basis, pending mood, weather conditions and the general vibe on the day.

Talks remain ongoing.