US Weighing Up Whether It Should Be Them Killing Iranians Instead Of Iranian Government

THE TRUMP White House is believed to be giving serious consideration to intervening in Iran, as Iranian government forces continue to kill innocent Iranians, something the US believes is actually their longterm responsibility, WWN can reveal.

“It just feels wrong they get to have all the fun,” confirmed White House lurker in bushes Stephen Miller, one of many agitating for American military intervention to free the Iranian people so that they may be oppressed from afar by the CIA and US military.

The source of serious debate, the news that hundreds have been killed in protests in Iran has left Donald Trump’s administration very jealous but also resolute in their belief that if anyone should be killing Iranians, it’s them.

“Don’t fall for it, this is a false flag operation by Greenland who are behind stoking tensions in Iran to achieve mass protests there so that we divert our attention and all our military resources towards Iran and in the process allowing Greenland to stay in the hands of Greenlanders,” countered vice president JD Vance, a calm logical presence in a sea of pro-war voice.

“They cut the internet there, they gutted people’s ability to mobilise and share information on how to combat their oppressors, they’re freely killing them in shocking numbers, isn’t that something we should be looking into more closely,” said Trump in an inspiring message certain to reach the democracy starved masses in Tehran.

UPDATE: The US has agreed to refrain from any intervention in Iran so long as the Iranian authorities share their tips on oppressing people.

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