Man Can’t Believe He’s Taking Taxi Driver’s Side But Fuck Uber

AT THE RISK of being ostracised by his fellow hailers of late night taxis, local man Dermot Henley is surprising himself by actually siding with taxi drivers in their dispute with Silicon Valley headquartered Uber.

“I’d love to tell the taxi driver to their faces, but one just drove off on me when I told him I wanted to pay with card,” explained Henley, who despite his run-ins with taxi drivers over the years doesn’t want to see Uber gain a stronghold in the Irish market.

Citing the fact Uber’s US operation had to had to settle gender discrimination, harassment, and hostile work environment claims with 480 former employees and has been sued in the past for prioritising growth over correctly vetting drivers and ensuring passenger safety, while also standing accused of price-fixing to keep prices artificially high, Henley is willing to catch an earful for siding with drivers.

“Is what we have perfect? No. Do I enjoy hearing about how immigrants are to blame for everything while all I wanted was a lift home in silence? No. Can I get a taxi in Dublin of a weekend? No. And when I do are journeys too expensive? Yes, but Uber artificially driving down prices for a brief enough window until they obtain market dominance, at which point they will raise prices while also taking a larger chunk of the fares from drivers is going to be worse,” argued Henley to friends during a weekly catch up and pint he’ll no longer be invited to.

“All I know is Spotify worked out really well for the average musician, and Amazon has done wonders for worker’s piss breaks, and remember how Netflix kept their introductory €2.99 offer in place and never drove up prices? So sorry I think this Uber stuff will be grand,” countered Henley’s friends, before suggesting he get a separate taxi home.

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