Department Of Agriculture Report Historic ‘FarmVille’ Neglect Led To Widespread Famine & Death 

THE DEPARTMENT of Agriculture has issued an apology for historic neglect during an era of light regulation and oversight of Facebook based farms which recent research revealed withered to nothing, likely causing famine and death.

“At the time the State viewed the popular of online farming to be fantastic, we were blinded by the cultivation, the yields, we didn’t stop to think about what if it completely fell off in popularity,” said Minister for Agriculture, Food, Fisheries and the Marine Martin Heydon, in an official State apology for the lack of help given to those abandoned, digitally, on their farms by FarmVille players.

“The internet was a new and scary thing in 2016, we had no idea people would farm in such numbers nor that they would leave behind crops and cattle,” added minister Heydon.

There had been calls for unused Farm Coins to be used in as part of a redress scheme for digital cattle, however, it is believed the in-game currency of FarmVille is now worthless.

“I wish we could blame this on the English but this time, it really is our own fault, we are to blame for all this,” one regretful former Irish based FarmVille player told WWN.

“I might have gained a lot of XPs in my time playing but I should have used my experience points to know it was wrong to leave everyone behind to perish”.

Talk of the players themselves being forced to pay compensation has been criticised by some.

“I’ve still playing 21 hours a day, so don’t try to pull that bullshit on me,” confirmed one player, local mother Angela Guiney.

Brave journalism like this comes at a price, and that price is giving our class merch a gander HERE and spreading the word about our online shop!