Questions Remain Over Whether First Asian Hornet Found In Northern Ireland Is A Catholic Asian Hornet Or Protestant Asian Hornet

THE DISCOVERY of Asian hornets in the north of Ireland has led to calls from locals for a more thorough investigation into their origins, and what their intentions are, WWN can confirm.

“I don’t give one shite if they’re Asian or a hornet or whatever, but would the hornet have a Celtic scarf or not? That’s the question we should be asking, before worrying about the wee bees,” confirmed one resident, echoing many of the concerns heard since the news broke.

The Northern Ireland’s Environment Agency (NIEA) has said it will do everything within its power to answer the most pressing questions when it comes to the prevalence and presence of the hornet and how to combat it but NIEA also understands other research must be prioritised.

“I give much more of a shite about the fact the hornet is Asian and can not rule out using it as an excuse to riot but I want to know what the wee hornet’s opinion on this transubstantiation nonsense is,” remarked another ecologically concerned citizen.

“What I want to know is this hornet fella found in Belfast, I hear they navigate using ‘test flights’, mapping out areas like, and they use smells too, and this all comes into play on longer journeys but when they’re on a longer journey, would it be to Derry or Londonderry? What’s the point the NIEA if they can’t answer that?” added another resident.

Elsewhere, the NIEA’s equivalent in the 26 six counties, the EPA, has urged the public to ignore the neon green glow coming off the 48% of waterways which have been rated below the minimum standards.

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