Dad’s Wallet Shudders At Thoughts Of Possible Taylor Swift World Tour Following Album Announcement

“WOULD she not take a little break for herself? Surely she’s made enough money by now and could release that album later in life,” blurted local dad-of-three Damien Tynan, beads of sweat gathering along his thinning hairline as his hand instinctively shielded his trembling wallet, bracing for what will almost certainly be a Taylor Swift world tour next year following the release of her 12th studio album, The Life of a Showgirl.

Tynan is one of millions of parents worldwide now living in fear after the perfect princess of pop made the announcement.

“How about calling it The Life of a Struggling Family Trying to Pay for a Billionaire’s Concert,” he muttered, relieved that his daughters are still too young to connect the dots between new album and eye-watering ticket prices.

In a desperate counterattack, the 36-year-old barked at Alexa to play The Spice Girls in hopes of converting his children to a defunct pop group with no upcoming tours.

He sang along with manic enthusiasm, urging them to join in, before flashbacks of Ticketmaster error screens and 12-hour concert-day queues drained the last drops of expendable income from his imagination.

“Slam it to the left if you’re havin’ a good time, shake it to the right if your… ah, fuck this,” he conceded, already setting a reminder to call the bank about a possible remortgage.

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